Something i tried to stop myself from doing When my ex first left me was take to Google for some kind of solace...despite my best efforts to steer clear of the internet at this time, I like many millions before me failed massively!
I googled how to get over heartbreak...and to my surprise this search threw up two very different results; how to get over a break-up and hot to know if a guy likes you. I instantly dismissed this second result with the statement...this is inapplicable to me...and I didn't mean inapplicable to me for now (as is completely normal for any one in my situation)..I actually genuinely believed that it would never be applicable to me again.
Slowly, after some time I began to feel better and to my surprise my confidence began to really grow (the opposite of what i thought would happen after a break-up) I began to question why I had so fundamentally believed this. I realized that sometimes how you perceive things about yourself...no matter how much you might believe them to be true, doesn't make them fact.
I have wanted to write a how-to get over a break-up post for ages and ages but it never seemed like a good time until more recently. Iv made a list of some of the things I did and didn't do to sort myself out and become happier than I have ever been before! :)
1. Firstly delete the ex from Facebook...you are not dooing this to be maliciuos or nasty, you are dooing this completly for you and your own self preservation! The last thing you need is some/any notifications from them jumping up on you unsuspectingly as you innocently scroll through your news feed, in fact I gave up Facebook for a bit over a month...your friends and family have your number and your address, there opinion is the only one that counts!
2. Throw out, give away or hide anything and everything that reminds you of them, your going to make nice new memories plus you are living in the now, being nostalgic is living in the past and that will get you no where! whilst your at it re-decorate or even move house (maybe not quite this drastic, but you catch my drift!) you want lovely new surroundings for your lovely new start! if you lived together then rally the troops, get them to help you get your stuff and get out, you don't want this painful separating of lives to drag on any longer than it has to.
2. In the first few days...possibly weeks! Alcohol is not your friend!(Nytol, your bed, regular meals and comedy programs are!)no matter how much you want to drown your sorrows...don't! keep well away! It will only make you feel more emotional, its a depressant and as we are all very well aware by now it is seriously shit for your skin..and you just don't need that right now!
3. See your friends..if there anything like as amazing as mine they will be there no matter what..they will sit with you in silence, they will take you for ice cream and they will sit and listen for hours as you ramble on and on desperately trying to 'work through it' and attempt to make some sense of the fucked up-ness that is your life...remember tho that even the best friends will begin to get seriously sick of this constant chatter after a while, probably just a little bit before you get sick of it too...so acknowledge this..say thank you, return the favor!!!
4. Its important to talk it through...its also important to stop! Talking will only get you so far before you realize you can't talk your way back to 2 months ago, you can't talk your way out of this...and most importantly, you absolutely cannot talk somebody back into loving you, Do not try!!. I read that if you fight against what is you fight against the entire universe...if you embrace what is and take responsibility that gives you all the power back and you realize that only you are responsible for your own happiness, only you can save yourself from how you feel right now!
5. Only good choices!. You are your own best friend right now, this is your opportunity to look after number one...if your anything like me you might not have done this for a while or even ever. Only make good choices, bad ones won't hurt anybody but you! E.g. I don't care how drunk you are,or how much you 'don't give a fuck' starting to smoke doesn't mess up your ex's lungs, it doesn't make you look cool...it is not a good choice! (You can replace smoking in this situation for your own vice, popular ones include; drugs, alcohol, over eating massive amounts of carbs....we all have one, don't go there!)
6. Don't get worked up, go work out instead. I don't care that its a cliché, I don't care that you might have to envision how good repeatedly smacking your ex in the face might feel..fuck tape his picture to a punch bag if you have to, put angry girl 'just been dumped' music on, just harness that anger and hit the tred-mill, stress relief, happy indorfin hits and a banging body are way better than crying into your ice cream and watching shit telly whilst all the clothes you own slowly get to small for you...il say again you don't need that shit right now!
7. Don't ever let yourself get bitter and twisted! Being dumped doesn't mean you will turn into a crazy cat lady by the age of 50, being cynical and bitter does! Just because one person hurt you, does not mean that they all will. If you think that you will miss out on so many potentially amazing opportunities to be happy! Give people a chance, be guarded but don't build the barriers up so high that no one will break through, you are the only one who will miss out in the end!
8. No big commitments! Do not rush out and get a huge tattoo that sticks it to your ex..you have to live with it forever, not them! In fact now is not the time to be committing to anything that you will have to live with for longer than a week, initially your head will be all over the place, so will your judgement!
8. After some time of working through the above you will be ready to get back into the world of social media, but only if you are doing it for you! Do not re add your ex at any point and unless you are remotely close to them say good buy to his friends too! Alcohol can now be your friend again! So get out there and have some fun...warning! Do not sleep around, your self esteem needs building right now, do not destroy it with a series of one night stands!
9. Get a hobby, get a job, keep busy. Do anything! But do not sit around all day watching re-runs of the kardashians! this helps no one and you don't need endless amounts of time to sit and think right now!
10. Get a life! A hobby a project or a gym membership will give you something to focus on and achieving things is always a good thing!
Stay positive, only make good choices, remember that you are amazing! And one day you will wake up and without even realising it you won't hurt any more, in fact you'l feel pretty bloody fantastic! :)
Xxx
I googled how to get over heartbreak...and to my surprise this search threw up two very different results; how to get over a break-up and hot to know if a guy likes you. I instantly dismissed this second result with the statement...this is inapplicable to me...and I didn't mean inapplicable to me for now (as is completely normal for any one in my situation)..I actually genuinely believed that it would never be applicable to me again.
Slowly, after some time I began to feel better and to my surprise my confidence began to really grow (the opposite of what i thought would happen after a break-up) I began to question why I had so fundamentally believed this. I realized that sometimes how you perceive things about yourself...no matter how much you might believe them to be true, doesn't make them fact.
I have wanted to write a how-to get over a break-up post for ages and ages but it never seemed like a good time until more recently. Iv made a list of some of the things I did and didn't do to sort myself out and become happier than I have ever been before! :)
1. Firstly delete the ex from Facebook...you are not dooing this to be maliciuos or nasty, you are dooing this completly for you and your own self preservation! The last thing you need is some/any notifications from them jumping up on you unsuspectingly as you innocently scroll through your news feed, in fact I gave up Facebook for a bit over a month...your friends and family have your number and your address, there opinion is the only one that counts!
2. Throw out, give away or hide anything and everything that reminds you of them, your going to make nice new memories plus you are living in the now, being nostalgic is living in the past and that will get you no where! whilst your at it re-decorate or even move house (maybe not quite this drastic, but you catch my drift!) you want lovely new surroundings for your lovely new start! if you lived together then rally the troops, get them to help you get your stuff and get out, you don't want this painful separating of lives to drag on any longer than it has to.
2. In the first few days...possibly weeks! Alcohol is not your friend!(Nytol, your bed, regular meals and comedy programs are!)no matter how much you want to drown your sorrows...don't! keep well away! It will only make you feel more emotional, its a depressant and as we are all very well aware by now it is seriously shit for your skin..and you just don't need that right now!
3. See your friends..if there anything like as amazing as mine they will be there no matter what..they will sit with you in silence, they will take you for ice cream and they will sit and listen for hours as you ramble on and on desperately trying to 'work through it' and attempt to make some sense of the fucked up-ness that is your life...remember tho that even the best friends will begin to get seriously sick of this constant chatter after a while, probably just a little bit before you get sick of it too...so acknowledge this..say thank you, return the favor!!!
4. Its important to talk it through...its also important to stop! Talking will only get you so far before you realize you can't talk your way back to 2 months ago, you can't talk your way out of this...and most importantly, you absolutely cannot talk somebody back into loving you, Do not try!!. I read that if you fight against what is you fight against the entire universe...if you embrace what is and take responsibility that gives you all the power back and you realize that only you are responsible for your own happiness, only you can save yourself from how you feel right now!
5. Only good choices!. You are your own best friend right now, this is your opportunity to look after number one...if your anything like me you might not have done this for a while or even ever. Only make good choices, bad ones won't hurt anybody but you! E.g. I don't care how drunk you are,or how much you 'don't give a fuck' starting to smoke doesn't mess up your ex's lungs, it doesn't make you look cool...it is not a good choice! (You can replace smoking in this situation for your own vice, popular ones include; drugs, alcohol, over eating massive amounts of carbs....we all have one, don't go there!)
6. Don't get worked up, go work out instead. I don't care that its a cliché, I don't care that you might have to envision how good repeatedly smacking your ex in the face might feel..fuck tape his picture to a punch bag if you have to, put angry girl 'just been dumped' music on, just harness that anger and hit the tred-mill, stress relief, happy indorfin hits and a banging body are way better than crying into your ice cream and watching shit telly whilst all the clothes you own slowly get to small for you...il say again you don't need that shit right now!
7. Don't ever let yourself get bitter and twisted! Being dumped doesn't mean you will turn into a crazy cat lady by the age of 50, being cynical and bitter does! Just because one person hurt you, does not mean that they all will. If you think that you will miss out on so many potentially amazing opportunities to be happy! Give people a chance, be guarded but don't build the barriers up so high that no one will break through, you are the only one who will miss out in the end!
8. No big commitments! Do not rush out and get a huge tattoo that sticks it to your ex..you have to live with it forever, not them! In fact now is not the time to be committing to anything that you will have to live with for longer than a week, initially your head will be all over the place, so will your judgement!
8. After some time of working through the above you will be ready to get back into the world of social media, but only if you are doing it for you! Do not re add your ex at any point and unless you are remotely close to them say good buy to his friends too! Alcohol can now be your friend again! So get out there and have some fun...warning! Do not sleep around, your self esteem needs building right now, do not destroy it with a series of one night stands!
9. Get a hobby, get a job, keep busy. Do anything! But do not sit around all day watching re-runs of the kardashians! this helps no one and you don't need endless amounts of time to sit and think right now!
10. Get a life! A hobby a project or a gym membership will give you something to focus on and achieving things is always a good thing!
Stay positive, only make good choices, remember that you are amazing! And one day you will wake up and without even realising it you won't hurt any more, in fact you'l feel pretty bloody fantastic! :)
Xxx
No comments:
Post a Comment